Do you remember, in my last post, that I said it was with mixed feelings that I reached the halfway mark?! After that, for a few days, I only got bad vibes, kinda like depression. I tried my best to hide it while I was around people, smiling and joking around to get others to smile asalways, but it wasn’t at all how I felt. I just didn’t feel good, a darkness just kept growing inside me and on day 59 I didn’t sleep at all. Then I walked 66,4 km and that night I couldn’t sleep either. I was back questioning myself, hundreds of questions in my head, mostly about myself and my life but also about other people’s lives, about the world in general, about the universe. So many whys in my head with no answers. Why this? Why that? Why me? On day 61 I pushed hard again and I did 56,7 km. I wanted to swim in a lake but when I got there I felt weak and couldn’t do anything. To be honest I don’t remember most of the walk that day, I just know that I walked, said hi to people, smiled and kept walking with my headphones on. The music was on I think, but I’m not sure. I made camp, alone as I wanted to be, in a magic place with a great view. I sat on a big rock by the lake and had dinner and then, after sunset, I went to my tent and before I closed my eyes to try to sleep, after spending 2 nights awake, I began crying.
I cried like I haven’t done in many years, I cried so hard and for so long that for some moments it was difficult to breath because I was hiccupping. It’s crazy when we can’t control our mind, but fun at the same time. How low can we get? And for how long can we stay low without losing ourselves? The connection between mind and body is something that really fascinates me. My mind and my body are making me love myself more and more.
No, no, no. Not even for a second did I think about quitting. It’s funny actually, I think that was the only question that I didn’t ask myself. A lot of people say that in the end everything will be alright, but I don’t like endings. In the end nothing else matters because it is the end, life is beautiful now. We just have to accept these kinds of moments and then make them go away. I am in the Sierras now, and it couldn’t be more beautiful.
Day 56 (49,1 km) – Met and spent time with Behemoth after around 10 days without seeing him;
Day 57 (59,3 km) – Mountains & flora like home;
Day 58 (59,1 km) – Twisted my right foot 1 km before stopping for the day and hit with my body on the ground;
Day 59 (45,5 km) – Resupplied, quick shower & walked;
Day 60 (66,4 km) – Back to the Age of Questions;
Day 61 (56,7 km) – Idem;
Day 62 (25,7 km) – Town;
Day 63 (0 km) – Town, resupplied, bought a bear canister;
Day 64 (57,9 km) – Heavy backpack, all the weight is on my shoulders, the belt doesn’t fit me anymore;
Day 65 (50,3 km) – Sierras time.
– I am travelling with Iati Seguros, if you buy any of its insurance through any link on my blog you get 5% discount.
– All the pictures with Samsung Galaxy S10.
This as all the other articles on this site are translated by my good friend Devo Forbes!!
